January 5, 2016

Auntie Janice had a birthday so we made her a brownie raspberry cake.

Elizabeth is really excited that Janice is almost thirty - she's announcing it to all and sundry with great glee and anticipation. Meanwhile I've somehow gotten confused and started telling Elizabeth I was 39. This greatly freaked out my husband (he's apparently not ready to be 40 yet, whereas I apparently can't wait lol).

Once the kids were in bed our household played the Game of Life (the version where you sell your kids, of course). Our house rules require you to come up with names and story for your life. We thought it was hilarious...

Janice: "I became a doctor. I had a great salary, but there was a rocky start when I was in a tornado and set back. I then married Vincent, a professional photographer. Then my aunt Lorianne left me 50 cats, which I had to place in foster homes. It was expensive. After the trouble with the tornado, I decided to build my own medical building, and I expanded the business. Vincent and I climbed Mount Everest together, and then while we travelled we decided to adopt two kids - Enrique and Georgia. They were well behaved kids, which was good because my uncle left me a skunk farm to deal with and I'm not sure I could have dealt with any extra family drama. It cost a lot to humanely dispose of the skunks, but then my uncle decided to release one into the police station and I had to bail him out and rescue the trapped police officers. After that my business acquired a helicopter from my aunt Lorianne for an air ambulance service. Flush with success after finally paying off my many promissory notes, I decided to buy a yacht and help yet another orphanage, after all we wanted to travel as a family and give back to the orphanages where Enrique and Georgia were first raised. We discovered along the way that Brendan's life insurance fraud had negatively impacted my business, and I successfully sued. After travelling quite a bit, one of the stock companies we bought hit oil! We may not have ended up the richest family in the world, but I ended up a millionaire and we enjoyed our retirement in style. "

Lorianne married Gilbert and had two kids William and Kate. A general BA, life was looking good - she was way ahead. She inherited 50 cats from an aunt but bequeathed them to her overly acquiescent niece. They went zip lining with their teenagers on a cruise of a lifetime to South America. (Gilbert was a doctor). She was in  the helicopter business and did pretty well, even sold one to her niece. She liked to play the stock market and Gilbert was understanding. Unfortunately her golden years weren't so kind. Her teeth fell out and then she went fishing instead of looking after her business and was surpassed by competitors. They lost track of time - Gilbert was reading her poetry. Her son got into expensive coin collecting which was a huge drain on her resources. She ended up living happy but destitute in a field. 

Brendan married Mary (of course). A crooked quantum physicist, he felt he had to take every advantage after suffering through a devastating tornado. He committed insurance fraud against Janice's company, which was ultimately unprofitable as she successfully sued for redress. He wrote a bestseller about using quantum mechanics to conduct insurance fraud. This inspired a criminal mastermind to defraud Lorianne's helicopter business. She sued, successfully. He retired rich after selling his own children (Matthew and Elizabeth) to the highest bidder. But not rich enough...

Mary married Brendan (obviously) but sadly remained childless. She played the stock market at every opportunity, winning more often than not. She became a physicist and lost an eye early on in an unfortunate experiment. By virtue of rushing through life she amassed great wealth, mostly at the expense of the others. 

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